


20 Sexy Halloween Costumes for Daring Dudes

by AlmostBriarRose



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Also lots of swearing and fantasizing about sex, EVERYONE is here - Freeform, I Don't Even Know, Multi, Post-Recall, Rating because lots of people are going to be mostly naked, Slightly AU? I'm not sure, Sombra is a flirt, This is total effing crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-20 03:17:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12423954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmostBriarRose/pseuds/AlmostBriarRose
Summary: Hana is throwing a Halloween party, and the theme is sexy costumes. Hilarity and chaos ensue.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the Buzzfeed article of a similar name (I can't remember the name of it) because my roommate and I began laughing our asses off at the costumes. Everyone's probably pretty OOC, but since this is just going to be multiple chapters of fluffy crack, I don't care. I'll probably edit this later this week, but I want to get something up so I actually finish this.

Hana padded over to the couch where her boyfriend sat and arched her back in a languid stretch before collapsing on top of the Brazilian man on the couch.  
“Th’ fuck, Hana?” grunted Lúcio as he caught her around her ribcage and pulled her into his chest. She snuggled into his chest and pressed a kiss to his chin. He grinned and settled in as she scrolled through social media on her phone. The DJ began channel surfing, grumbling about there being nothing good on TV anymore. The gamer’s attention was caught by an article titled “20 Sexy Halloween Costumes for Daring Dudes”, and she giggled manically to herself as she clicked on it. The first costume to pop up was a short, tight pair of lederhosen, and Hana promptly rolled off Lúcio’s lap in hysterics.  
“ _Coelhinha_ , you okay?” asked the DJ as he caught her before she hit the floor.  
“Found this- article,” heaved Hana, “Halloween – sexy – men’s – oh my fucking god.” The tiny woman was wheezing so hard she couldn’t speak, and tears were leaking out of the corners of her eyes. Lúcio raised an eyebrow as his girlfriend cackled like a madwoman in his arms. She continued to scroll as she laughed, and when she came across a version of her suit, she began to hyperventilate.  
“Seriously, Hana, babe, are you okay?” asked the DJ. He hauled her upright and sat her next to him, pulling her hand to his chest. “Breathe with me, okay? C’mon, I don’t even know why you’re laughing, so I can’t explain it to the Doc if you pass out. Then McCree will be all on my ass for not taking care of you.” She held out her phone, forcing herself to breathe with her boyfriend. He took one look at the screen and began chuckling. “This is great!” He scrolled through the rest of the article quickly before handing the pink and blue phone back to Hana.  
She smiled up at him, still giggling and teary, but breathing normally again. “Would you wear it?” she giggled, looking up at him with mirth filled eyes. He pulled her in for a hug, and she curled up into his chest.  
“Sure, why the fuck not. Anything for you, _coelhinha_ ,” he laughed and pressed a kiss to her hair.  
Hana pulled away to look up at him, her brown eyes glittering. “What if we threw a Halloween party? A sexy-costume Halloween party.” Lúcio looked at her like she had three heads, but she just smiled up at him. “C’mon, Lu, you know Lena and Jess would be into it. I’m pretty sure Zarya and Genji would be in, too. And if we have Jesse, we have Ana and Fareeha, too. Reinhardt would be so in, too. And maybe we can do a little matchmaking while we’re at it.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and the DJ shook his head.  
Lúcio rolled his eyes and grinned, “Leave the matchmaking thing alone, Hana. Remember how pissed Morrison was last time? And as for the party, I’m not helping you plan it. I want plausible deniability if it goes wrong. I’ll do music if you ask nicely and promise you’ll do my makeup for the next three weeks. But otherwise, I’m out. I don’t really wanna see Torb in any of these.”  
“Fuck yes!” crowed Hana, jumping to her feet on the couch. Lúcio laughed and grabbed Hana around the waist as he collapsed backwards, pulling her down onto his chest.  
“ _Baixinha_ , you can scheme tomorrow,” he laughed. “For now, sit here and cuddle with me.”  
“Anything for you, _gaeguli_ ,” giggled Hana, snuggling into his muscular chest.

Coelhinha- bunny rabbit  
Baixinha- little small person (apparently it’s a Portuguese term of endearment)  
Gaeguli (개구리)- froggy


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse is not a morning person, but when his pseudo-younger sister wakes him up, he can't really be mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hana has adopted everyone as either a sibling, parent, or whatever. She's also super, super excited about this Halloween party. 
> 
> These chapters will be short because I'm doing a lot of homework but really trying to get this up before Halloween. Also, the party is going to be a hot mess and I have no idea how to write it, so we'll see how that goes. Also, I'm using Google Translate for everything that's not in English, so please feel free to correct any language issues!

**McCree**

The pounding on the door intensified, and Jesse McCree groaned as he peeled his eyes open. His alarm clock blinked six thirty a.m., and he grumbled. He rolled out of bed and scrounged for a pair of pajama pants to pull on, shambling towards the door.

“Th’ fuck?” he growled as he punched the button to open his door. He found himself with an armful of enthusiastic Korean gamer, and reflexively wrapped an arm around her waist to support her. He blinked down at Hana, wondering when she had wormed her way into his life so much that he couldn’t be mad at her for waking him up at the asscrack of dawn.

“Jess!” chirped Hana, grinning up at him from where she was held against his bare chest. “Halloween party in two weeks! Also good morning!”

She shoved a neon orange flyer into his free hand and snuggled into his chest for a proper hug. He tightened his arm around her waist and looked at the flyer in his hand, eyebrow raised. “What? I’m – It migh’ jus’ be th’ mornin’, but I’m not sure I’m understandin’ what you’re sayin’, li’l bunny rabbit,” admitted Jesse, eyes roaming over the flyer.

“Y’know, that holiday that originated in Europe to ward off demons but morphed into a glorification of candy and slutty cat costumes?” she replied, chin propped on his chest to look up at him. “Lena and I are planning a party.” Jesse grunted, pulling her closer to his chest as she cuddled into him. “I love cuddling with Lú, but it’s super nice to be this much shorter than the person I'm hugging. We should cuddle more.”

“Whatever y’want, _conejita_ ,” replied McCree absently. He re-read the flyer, checking the date and time. His eye was caught by the bolded line near the bottom. “Costumes are MANDATORY, sexy costumes all but required.” The corner of his mouth curled up as his brain flashed through everyone in sexy costumes, blush rising on his cheeks when he imagined a certain archer in the sexy cat costume that Hana had mentioned. “Sexy costumes, huh? I’m in,” he grinned down at her.

She laughed and pulled out of the hug after a final squeeze. “Good, ‘cause I already ordered your costume!” Jesse shook his head as she skipped down the hall, a smile pulling at his lips.

He was about to head back into his room to shower when he heard someone call, “Good morning, Jesse!” He turned to see Fareeha and Hanzo walking down the hall, presumably having just finished their workouts.

“Mornin’, Far, Hanzo!” he called back. Hanzo lifted an arm in greeting and Jesse’s eye was drawn to the pull of muscle in the other man’s bare chest and the curve of his shoulders. His mind drifted back to the image of him in the sexy cat costume his brain had conjured for him earlier, and he could feel his face heat up. He glanced up enough to catch Hanzo’s eyes on him, the pull of his lower lip between his teeth. Fuck. “Uh, I’ll catch y’all later,” he said, quickly turning around and going back into his room. He tossed the flyer onto his bed and headed into his bathroom to shower and try and wash away the thought of Hanzo in sexy costumes out of his brain.

 

 _Conejita_ (Spanish)- bunny girl


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hana's still distributing flyers, Hanzo is having a rough morning, and Jesse is just hanging out and regretting everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm of the firm belief that Ana functionally adopted Jesse when he joined Overwatch and he started calling her "mama" or "ma" when Fareeha was around (which was often). 
> 
> Basically a lot happens and I just really wanted to make it fluffy and domestic for a bit before chaos ensues. I'll have another chapter up tomorrow, because I have about more written.

Jesse made his way into the kitchen, still buttoning his shirt.

“Good Morning, Jesse,” greeted Ana. The older woman smiled from her perch at the kitchen island, mug in one hand and mission report in the other. Jesse smiled at the sight, always happy to see his pseudo-mother happy.

“Mornin’, mama,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he passed. “How’re ya this lovely mornin’?” He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip before pulling out some eggs, vegetables and potatoes. “You eat yet?”

Ana shook her head as she adjusted the strap of her eyepatch over her hair. “No, _abn_ , I haven’t eaten yet. But this morning has been quite nice.”

The cowboy hummed to himself as he chopped and cooked up a hearty scramble. “What mission you lookin’ over?” he asked absently. He continued to stir, glancing over his shoulder.

Ana hummed before replying, “The last mission we faced off against Gabriel and Amelie.” Jesse heard the pain in the Egyptian woman’s voice, and he felt his heart crack. He finished plating breakfast and carried a bowl over to Ana.

“They’re not your fault, Cap. Ya can’t keep beating yourself up over them,” he said as he pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his ribs, pressing her face into his chest and taking a deep breath.

“Thank you, dear,” she said, pulling back and smiling gently at him. She pulled his face down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before patting him on the shoulder. “Thank you for making breakfast, Jesse.”

“Anytime, ma.”

“Ana! My love, _guten Morgen_!” boomed Reinhardt as the old soldier came into the kitchen. He scooped Ana up into a quick but passionate kiss, and Jesse looked away.

“Good morning, beloved,” replied Ana, laughing. Reinhardt set her down and perched on a stool next to her. “How was your morning run with Ms. Zaryanova?”

“Spending time with Aleksandra is like spending time with the daughter I never had!” proclaimed the tall soldier.

Zarya snorted as she walked into the kitchen. “Sappy old man,” she teased as she walked over to the fridge. “But, yes, spending time with you brings fond memories of my Grandfather.” The tall, pink haired woman pulled a smoothie out of the fridge and paused to kiss Ana on the cheek before she left the room. The sniper beamed happily at having successfully adopted another grandchild.

Moments later, Hana came skidding into the room, cackling like a madwoman. “Morning! Hide me?”

“Of course, Miss Hana!” replied Reinhardt, hoisting the small woman up onto his shoulder with one hand. As soon as her feet left the ground, Hanzo came bursting into the kitchen. Jesse moved forward and caught him around the waist, pulling him away from Reinhardt.

“Woah there, Han. What’s got you after li’l Hana this mornin’?” asked Jesse, pulling the other man against his chest until he stopped trying to stalk forward. Jesse forced himself to ignore the warm press of Hanzo’s skin against his forearm where the archer’s t-shirt was riding up.

Hanzo grumbled and crossed his arms, “She corrupted Udon and Soba with those stupid pranks. They stole and hid all of my spare training arrows and underwear!” Jesse dropped his arm from Hanzo’s waist like he had been burned, face darkening. He choked on his own spit as his mind raced with thoughts of the object of his affections walking around commando. Hana was giggling like a madwoman from her perch on top of the tank of a man, and even Ana was chuckling from behind her hand. One of the dragons – Jesse thought it was Udon – peeked his head in from the hallway, a pair of black boxer briefs hanging from his teeth. Hanzo lunged at the dragon, and it disappeared into the vents. He glared upwards, muttering in Japanese under his breath.

Ana clucked her tongue, still smiling. “Hanzo, please relax. Hana will help you collect your things later. Hana, darling, stop trying to corrupt ancient spirits. And Jesse, remember to breathe, _abn_.” A smile danced in her eyes as Jesse’s face got even hotter. He stumbled away from Hanzo and back over to the counter where he left his coffee. Hanzo grumbled and shuffled his way over to the cabinet where they kept coffee and tea and began to make himself a pot of green tea.

“Oh!” Hana exclaimed, clambering down Reinhardt’s back. “I have flyers for you guys! Except Jesse, he already got his. Lena and I are throwing a Halloween party!” She handed a flyer to Ana and then flounced over to Hanzo to hand him one. He took it and she moved closer and leaned against his side. He let her, draping his arm over her shoulder as he read the flyer. She snuggled into his side, tapping at her phone.

“Sexy costumes, huh?” mussed Reinhardt, glancing suggestively at Ana, who elbowed him in the side while laughing. Jesse made a gagging noise, and Ana launched a piece of potato at him, hitting him directly between the eyes.

“Fuck,” he muttered, only to get hit with another piece of potato. “Really, __mama?”

“Language, Jesse,” she scolded. Hanzo and Hana were giggling in the corner.

“You don’t have to wear sexy costumes if you don’t want to, but they’re highly encouraged,” interjected Hana. “Rein, I’ve got a costume ordered for you if you want it. And Hanzo-kun, I can order this one for you if you’d like.” She tilted her phone to show him something, and he spit out the sip of tea he had just taken. A blush spread from his cheeks down to his neck.

“Hana-chan, what the – why - _Jigoku no michi wanai_!” the archer sputtered, dropping into Japanese in his embarrassment. Jesse _really_ wanted to know what made the usually unflappable archer blush like that.

“Suit yourself,” shrugged the pilot. “Your costumes all better be good! Jess, Rein, yours should be here in about a week. Hanzo-kun, we’ll talk tomorrow.” She blew them all a kiss before dashing out of the kitchen, calling for Genji and Mei to wait for her.  

 

 _Abn_ (Arabic)- son

 _guten Morgen_ (German)- good morning

 _Jigoku no michi wanai_ (Japanese)- no way in hell


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party is getting closer!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are more chapters that I will post over the next couple days, but I just wanted to do this little intro to the next couple chapters. Like I said before, I don't want these first chapters to be too long, because the party scene will be a mess.
> 
> Shoutout to headraline, who corrected my shitty, Google-translated Korean! Please, always feel free to correct me when I'm using other languages wrong! I want to deliver the best work I can, and it's important to me that these things are right.

A week later found Hana opening a box from the costume company, cackling like a madwoman. She had taken the liberty of ordering costumes for many of her teammates, and she couldn’t _wait_ to hand them out.

“Hana-chan, did the costumes arrive?” asked Genji, dropping from the air vent above the couch. He landed on the couch next to her, henley shirt covered in dust.

“ _Ssi-bal!_! Fuck, Genji, you scared me!” she yelped as she clutched at her chest. She collapsed away from him, and he shot out an arm to reel her into his side. Hana looked at him more closely and blinked owlishly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without this much armor before. It’s a good look, Genji-chan.”

Genji laughed, running a hand through his hair. The tops of his cheekbones flushed lightly under the scarring. “Thanks, Hana. And I apologize for scaring you, I’m just really excited for this party. I haven’t been to one since, I think, Jesse’s 21st birthday.”

Hana’s eyes bugged out for a moment. “Another time, you will have to tell me how that went. But for now,” she replied, her grin almost manic, “do you want to help me pass these out?” The cyborg grinned back at her and they dug into the box to sort everything out.

 

 _Ssi-bal_ (씨발)(Korean)- fuck/fuck yout

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Costume delivery shenanigans and Genji blushing a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short baby chapter again! About 2 more short chapters and then I'll write the big party chapter. (That might take a bit, so please bear with me)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's reading and enjoying this, this has been really fun to write and I'm glad to see others enjoying my weird brain child.

The gamer and ninja wandered the halls, hunting down their teammates. They had already delivered most of their costumes, just having to track down Zarya, Angela, Hanzo, McCree, Ana, and Reinhardt.

“Who are we visiting next?” asked Genji, hefting the box under his cybernetic arm.

“Dr. Ziegler,” replied Hana, looking down at the checklist on her phone. She glanced over at Genji, loving that she could see exactly what his face did when Angela was brought into the conversation. His face flushed dark under the scar tissue, his eyes darting around. “C’mon, Genji-kun, you know she likes you too. You gonna make a move?”

Genji hummed noncommittally as they approached the Medical wing He punched in the door code for Angela’s office and let Hana in first. “Hello, Angela-san!” he called, smiling like a kid presented with his favorite candy.

“Hana, Genji! What a surprise!” exclaimed the Swiss doctor. “What can I help you with today?”

“We’ve got your costume for the party! Sombra dropped them off earlier,” replied Hana. “Genji-chan, can you grab Angela’s costume?”

Genji set the box down on the floor and knelt to sort through the few costumes left. “So, I checked the costume against the measurements you sent me,” began Hana, smiling as Genji coughed behind her, “and it should fit, but it might be a bit big in the waist and bust. Emily offered to alter anything that didn’t fit quite right, though, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Ah, here’s your costume, Angela-san,” said Genji, stepping forward quickly to hand the carefully wrapped package to the blonde. Their fingers brushed against each other, and Genji grinned at her like looking at her was the best thing in the world.

“Thank you, Genji,” replied Angela, a light flush spreading across her nose and cheeks. “Should I try it on now?”

Hana nodded, “Yeah, sure! Genji, can you go get Emily for us?” Genji nodded, his eyes glued to Angela as she pulled her white coat off and began to toe off her shoes. Hana elbowed him in his flesh side and he jerked before spinning on his heel and almost running out the door. Hana laughed to herself as she took Angela’s work dress from her so the medic could change into her new witch costume. “I ordered you a pair of black shorts to go underneath because even I’ve got to say, this dress is fucking _short_ ,” added the gamer.

“ _Danke_ , _Schatz_ ,” replied Angela, smiling. She pulled on the little shorts and drew the dress over her head. “Can you help me lace this up?” Hana moved in behind her, carefully threading the laces through the corset. Hana was still chuckling to herself, and Angela looked over her shoulder at her, “What is so funny?”

“You two,” replied Hana simply, grinning up at the medic while continuing to lace up the back of the dress quite slowly.

“Heya Hana, Dr. Z, what can I do ya for?” chirped Emily as she came into the room on Genji’s heels. Hana glanced over at the green haired cyborg, grinning as his face flushed dark red when his eyes landed on Angela. His jaw dropped a bit, and Hana puffed her chest out victoriously.

“Hey Em, can you take over and mark this costume for alteration?” asked Hana, moving her hands so that the British woman could step in without letting the dress drop off Angela’s body.

The redhead stepped forward, her hands carefully manipulating the ribbon so that it was tied enough that Angela could let go of the top. “O’course, no problem! The Doc and I’ll be fine!” replied Emily, already engrossed in making the costume fit properly.

“Come on, ninja boy. We’ve got more costumes to deliver,” said Hana, picking up the box and grabbing Genji by the arm and pulling him out of the room. “Bye guys, have fun!”

“ _Watashi o okasu_ ,” muttered Genji, eyes still dazed.

“Get a move on, Genji-chan!” replied Hana. Genji glared at her and her only response was laughter. She spied Zarya ahead of them and raced ahead, calling, “Hey, Aleks, wait up!”

 

 _Danke, Schatz_ (German)- Thank you, sweetheart

 _Watashi o okasu_ (私を犯す)(Japanese)- fuck me


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCree is a grumpy cowboy, Hanzo is flustered, and Genji is still a little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I need to explain that, in my mind, Hana picked up the honorifics from some gamer friends from Japan. She started out by calling the boys both "Shimada-san", but Genji refused to answer to it and Hanzo hated how formal it sounded.  
> I'm gonna write the Anahardt chapter next, then maybe 2 more short ones to tide you guys over while I work on the party chapter this weekend.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, and feel free to let me know if I fucked up any of the languages! I want to know so I can fix it.
> 
> -UPDATE (4/23/18)-  
> I'm so sorry I haven't updated! I got really behind in classes and had to fight to catch up. I'm going to write the rest soon, but I won't post it until Halloween2018. I'm so sorry, and I promise I will finish this story!

“Jess, open up! I’ve got your costume, so put on pants and get your ass out here!” yelled Hana through McCree’s bedroom door. Genji had set the box on the floor and was leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

The door opened, and the cowboy stood there, shirtless and grumbling, “Hana, kid, I love ya, but will ya quiet down? I was takin’ a nap.” Hana just grinned up at him, batting her eyelashes innocently. Genji snorted.

“No you weren't, it's 7 at night. And Jesse, I’ve gotta finish deliveries today!” she exclaimed, her accent thickening. Genji rolled his eyes and McCree just sighed.

“Fine. ‘M sorry I got mad, _bebita_ ,” replied McCree, holding his arms out for a hug. Hana jumped into them, laughing. He stepped out of his room and spun the laughing girl in a circle.

“Genji-chan, can you get Jess’ costume? It’s the one with the red bandana in the packaging.” Hana dropped from McCree’s arms and pulled out her phone. Genji pulled a small bag out of the box and immediately shuddered at the absurdly tiny amount of fabric he held in his hands.

“I may regret agreeing to this party if this is his whole costume, Hana,” snarked Genji, carefully handing the bag to Jesse. “Did you pick it or did she?”

Hana smirked up at them and replied, “Nah, it’s not the whole thing. He needs to wear his hat and boots, too.” Genji gagged and Jesse laughed.

“I have no idea what I’m even dressing as,” replied McCree, suddenly looking nervous. “Not right sure I trust her with my dignity, but whatever makes her happy.”

“Amen to that!” called Lúcio from down the hall. The trio looked down towards his voice. He was walking with Hanzo, the two obviously just returning from training exercises.

“Lú!” squealed Hana, launching herself at her sweaty boyfriend. Lúcio caught her mid-leap, laughing as he rubbed his sweaty face into her neck. She squeaked and began to shove at his chest, laughing.

“Hello Genji-kun, Jesse,” said Hanzo, stepping around the laughing couple. “How are you?”

“’M doin’ just fine, darlin’,” purred McCee, settling back against the doorframe. He crossed his arms over his chest, and Genji snickered when he noticed him flexing. He( raised an eyebrow as he watched Hanzo puff up as well. Hanzo’s cheeks flushed dark red, and Genji coughed to cover a second laugh.

“Bit warm in here, eh brother?” he commented, smoothly dodging the arrow thrown at his head. Hanzo glared at him, and McCree chuckled.

“Ignore the glow stick,” replied McCree, cuffing Genji across the back of his head, “he’s been spending all day with the gremlin.”

“Fuck you, McCree,” shouted Hana from Lúcio’s back. He carried her over to the group. “Hanzo-kun, I’m glad I caught you. I’ve got your Halloween costume! I hope I got the size right.” She slid off her boyfriend’s back and dug through the box. “Here you go! Try it on after you shower and let Emily know if it doesn’t fit, she’ll alter it for you.” She handed him a very small pile of black and blue cloth, and Hanzo’s face burned a dark red. He dropped the costume, and it came unfolded, and Genji began to laugh. The costume could barely be called clothes with how little fabric there was. McCree’s face had reddened, but his eyes were dark as he looked at Hanzo.

“Ew,” gagged the cyborg. “Hana-chan, we still have to deliver Ana-san and Reinhardt’s costumes.” Hana stuck her tongue out at him. “See you guys. And _nii-chan_ , don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Genji had to dodge another arrow and a fist at the same time, but laughed the whole time. He grabbed the box and raced down the hall.

“I don’t trust him with that box on his own,” said Hana, “so I’ll catch you guys later. SHIMADA GENJI GET BACK HERE, YOU FUCKER!” She raced after him, yelling the whole way.

 

 _bebita_ (Spanish)- baby girl

 _nii-chan(_ Japanese)- older brother/big brother 


End file.
